As we celebrate Independence Day, I want to talk about the other side of independence.
You’ve met a man, fell in love and suddenly he became the center of your Universe.
The only problem is that it isn’t mutual.
When you realize it, you have a choice to make.
If you’re like my coaching students, you’re going to choose YOU.
You put yourself first.
You don’t choose a man who doesn’t choose you.
Unfortunately, so many women get sucked into a trap of emotional dependency without even realizing it.
Why does it happen?
Many reasons, but I’ll zoom in on the top 3 myths about dependency:
Myth #1: You think, “It’s love.”
You love him so much that it’s enough for the two of you.
He doesn’t reciprocate but it’s ok.
That sweet message he sent you 2 weeks or 2 months ago is enough for you to hope and wait for him.
So, you get into a permanent state of hoping and WAITING. For him to call you, to ask you out or to be ready for a relationship.
The truth is it’s anything – an obsession, an uncontrollable desire, an intense attraction – but NOT love.
Love increases your energy vibration, improves your quality of life and always a MUTUAL feeling between two people.
Myth #2: You think, “It’s going to change soon/someday.”
You’re certain that it’s just a matter of time.
He doesn’t take any specific action (like ask you to be his girlfriend, move in together or propose to you) to move your “relationship” forward but it’s ok.
You make perfect excuses for him and continue to live in a state of illusion.
“He’s going through a very hard time right now.”
“He hasn’t realized yet that we’re meant to be together but I know he will.”
The truth is no matter what’s happening in a man’s life, if he needs you more than you need him, he’ll take the time and effort into a relationship with you.
Myth #3: You think, “He’s the one/my soulmate.”
You’ve finally found a man you’re incredibly attracted to like never before.
He doesn’t reciprocate it so you’re looking for ways to get him to see you’re perfect for each other.
You may take courses like “How to get any man to fall in love with you” or go to a psychic reader who tells you something along the lines of “Yes, he’s your soulmate but it’s going to be a difficult journey.”
The truth is love is easy. He’s either crazy about you or he isn’t. There’s nothing you need to do about it. If a man doesn’t get attracted to you at LEAST the same level (ideally, it’s 10% more), it isn’t going to work.
The bottom line is dependency is a choice.
Whether you make it consciously or not, you still do.
Today, as we celebrate Independence Day, choose You.
Put yourself first.
Decide to only choose men who choose you.